Thursday, December 3, 2015

Florida

I'm in Florida now.
I love Florida in many ways.
That's why I came here for three weeks- the longest time out of any of the locations I've been at.
And as it turns out, my grandfather likes my presence here, too. He likes my company, my occasional cooking, my driving the car instead of him.
And the time is flying.
Every place I've been at felt a little different and was characterized by different emotions. Florida was pretty laid-back. Watched a lot of TV, didn't read much, spent time with my aunt and uncles and cousins. I did a lot of thinking (as always), which usually kept me up at night and sometimes woke me up a few times during the night, but the thoughts didn't stress me out as much as thoughts usually do. Maybe when you think or worry about something so much it eventually becomes like a soft paste in your brain that oozes around steadily like a stoner. That's how I feel, anyway. Most of the time the thoughts - even the anxious ones - are like serene waves. Sometimes I'm anxious, but I take that as a given and don't fight it, and maybe the awareness toward it and the passivity is what actually does calm it.
Always toward the end of trips or vacations I get nervous again, and am not fully here nor there.
So right now I'm in the middle. All the memories in back of me seem faint, all that lies ahead is still a mystery.
And I'm excited to be going home.
Below are a photo from Thanksgiving, a photo of my breakfast one morning and another one of me happy with my breakfast, a photo outside at sunset, a photo with a really yummy ice pop, a photo at the beach.



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